Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
