There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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