Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
