I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You don't make any sense
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