I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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