Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
