You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
