$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
you would pick up someone in the library
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
