I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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