her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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