I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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