There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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