dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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