i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
