he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
