THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Randomize
