Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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