I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
