on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Randomize
