someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
