Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
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