I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
