Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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