I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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