the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
