Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
