I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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