This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
