There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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