And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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