help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Is this like a preordered booty call?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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