He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize