i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Randomize
