I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
