Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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