Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
