Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
are you so shy because you have an std?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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