Sponge bath it is.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
