After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
