i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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