Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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