im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
