the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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