Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
