Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
