The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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