you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
