My nipple is on Facebook.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize