Just fell off a train. Bad.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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