Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
