I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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