You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
