Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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