Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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