That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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