Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
