Yo dont text me then not text me
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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