No more Irish car bombs ever.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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