physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize