Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
