u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
