I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
