Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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