Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize
