Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize