I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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