i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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