Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
He did a backflip because drugs
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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