marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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