im gay
i know
yea but for you.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize