oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
