that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
At least life still wants to fuck me.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
