yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
