She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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