i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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