so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
farters have to be the big spoon...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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