I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
